Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
