32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
