Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
