Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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