...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
