am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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