Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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