Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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