This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
