Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
