I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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