no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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