if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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