shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
