Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
