so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
