dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
