They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
