so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
