She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
How external is "for external use only"?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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