someone threw a dead crab at me
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
