We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
