Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
