oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
