cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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