hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
