I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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