i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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