It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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