took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
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