And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
