Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
