that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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