I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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