my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
