so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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