I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
