he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
