If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
