Sponge bath it is.
false alarm. still invincible.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I deserve this hangover.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
