I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
