I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
