ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Green mimosas i think yes
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
