Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
