I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
