I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize