yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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