I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
