also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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