I think my vagina is haunted
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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